It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
