I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Randomize
