i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
