I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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