He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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