Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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