Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
