I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
