We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
