i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
