dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
