we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
