omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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