The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
