Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
There r osticjed everywhere
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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