You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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