she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
