Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize