he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
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