Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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