Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
