ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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