Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
