My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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