I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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