watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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