he wants to bone in the snuggie
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
