i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
as a side note pls kill me
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
