I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
