I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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