bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
