nut hugger
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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