I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize