Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Randomize
