She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
