I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Randomize
