I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
