The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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