I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
