if you like me you must not know who I am
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
