So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
