The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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