New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
