Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
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