i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
