3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We named our party play list daddy issues
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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