My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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