so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You dont lie about slip and slides
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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