4 words: hood of his car
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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