I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
