Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
