i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
