I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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