U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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