why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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