You don't have asthma, your pregnant
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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