i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
