So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Welp...herpes.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
