So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
they're like a gay fantastic four
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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