D3 body, D1 cock
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
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