They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
