I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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